8. 'It's A Delight to Look Upon You' and Other Ways to Say 'I See You'.
Hello again and happy Monday!
I hope you’ve been keeping well and you’re not feeling the weight of the new week too heavily. I thought I’d have written at least once before now but what is time and where is it going in such a hurry? So, let’s do a quick catch up, shall we?
Since my last letter, I’ve spent a weekend in Paris and another weekend visiting friends in the North of England, I’ve attended a book event for Ayọ̀bámi Adébáyọ̀’s latest novel (more on this one below), I’ve read some brilliant books (and a few average ones too) and I’ve also been doing that work business, which is apparently required of me in order to fund this thing called life.
It was also my birthday this past weekend (we take two days minimum) so that’s something to be celebrated and I feel like I can go into this week tired but with a little bit more pep in my step. Just a little though, let’s not get carried away…
The past year has definitely demanded a lot of me in so many ways but I realise now that I actually kept myself quite still, probably in some misguided attempt to minimise any further disruption. I positioned myself where I felt I needed to be, which was, for the most part, between two cities, and I think that was right for me then. Now, however, I’m trying to make a conscious effort to get moving again, to see places and faces old and new, and not allow myself to hibernate too deeply or for too long, such that I find myself retreating and disappearing, rather than resting and recharging. There’s a fine line, I think, and I’m trying to get the balance right.
I took the title of this letter from episode four of Tolu Agbelusi’s Unlearning Strongwoman Podcast where she’s in conversation with poet, Vievee Francis. When Vievee told Tolu, ‘it is a delight to look upon you’, I swear my heart stopped for a spilt second. What a thing to say: ‘it is a delight to look upon you’. Words spoken not only beautifully but with absolute sincerity and received with such appreciation and audible pleasure for the gift of being seen.
I think we all have ways, unique to us, of making others feel recognised, acknowledged, appreciated, loved. The other day I was walking through town when a woman stopped me and said, ‘I love it when people smile and you did so even from a distance’. I don’t say this to blow my own trumpet (99% of the time I’m fairly sure my chronic resting b**ch face makes it look like I’m ready to fight someone) but because it was a much-needed reminder that it can be that easy. Whether we choose to smile at that person whose eye we catch, or to voice our admiration and appreciation of someone, or when we do something for another’s betterment simply because we can.
“…How a single word can set the world turning from one moment into the next in startlement.”
A couple of months ago, Tolu actually gifted me a copy of what she, in the episode, called her (current) favourite Vievee Francis collection, Forest Primeval. I knew that when she did this there would have been real intention behind it and, having listened to the episode, I hold the gift even more dear. It also got me thinking about those books we give to others that feel like giving a little part of ourselves; perhaps given in the hope that what we found in it might be found by them, too, or that it might speak to them in whatever way they need to hear.
So I wanted to virtually share those books of mine, the ones I’d gift to you if I could:
Fiction: Stay With Me by Ayọ̀bámi Adébáyọ̀ & So Long a Letter by Mariama Ba
Non-fiction: From Harvey River: A Memoir of My Mother and Her Island by Lorna Goodison
Poetry: Locating Strongwoman by Tolu Agbelusi, Obit by Victoria Chang & Sisters’ Entrance by Emtithal Mahmoud
I’d love to know which book/s you’d choose if you’re willing to share.
Speaking of books, the year is off to such a solid start! In my last letter of 2022, I shared some of my most highly anticipated 2023 releases so I want to make a point of updating you on my thoughts as and when I read them. I also have another 2023 recommendation I haven’t yet mentioned but finished just this weekend. It isn’t published until 6th April but I’m giving you fair warning!
The first has got to be the one I’d have called my most highly anticipated release, the one I really had been waiting for… Ayọ̀bámi Adébáyọ̀’s A Spell of Good Things. I didn’t, for even one second, question whether this book would deliver, however, I’m still so happy that I can, unequivocally, say that it is so good.
I posted some thoughts on it here if you want to read them but I feel like I have to mention a couple of things I loved that I just didn’t have the space to elaborate on in that post.
Firstly, what Ayọ̀bámi Adébáyọ̀ does with language and languages in this book is impeccable; transitions are seamless, the approach is considered without coming across as laboured or overly conscious and the impact of this on the sense of place and person is delightful. There are many voices in this novel but none of them feel wasted, which is quite a feat.
The other thing is something that has probably clung to me the tightest since I turned the last page and it is the way Adébáyọ̀ demonstrates the resourcefulness of women who know just how dangerous the games men play can be, and how this knowledge is transmitted generationally. There’s much to be said about this book but hopefully you’ll discover that for yourself.
I’ve also made a start on Emmanuel Iduma’s I Am Still With You and it is hitting all the right notes. I really don’t like to make pronouncements about books until I’ve finished reading them (I learned this lesson the hard way) so I’m going to try not to break that habit here but I do just want to make sure it stays on your radar…
Another February release not to be overlooked is Priya Hein’s Riambel.
This is a book that might all too easily escape your notice and that would such be a shame. Short and sharp, you can find my thoughts on it here and it’s definitely, definitely one to look out for when you’re next looking to buy/borrow something new.
Lastly, the book you all need to add to your wish lists: The Middle Daughter by Chika Unigwe. This novel tells the story of Nani, the middle of three daughters who, when disaster strikes her family not once but twice, finds herself trapped in the most torturous of circumstances.
I haven’t wanted to inflict such harm on a fictional character since I encountered Gozie in Tomorrow I Become a Woman by Aiwanose Odafen. In both novels, the husband and the mother of the central characters ignite a specific kind of fury but, reading The Middle Daughter, I felt this even more intensely. If you loved (but also hated) one book, you’ll love (but also hate) the other. If you’ve read neither, brace yourself. The Middle Daughter is published on the 6th April so do keep an eye out for it.
Books on my Wishlist
I thought I’d start sharing the books that have caught my attention and will likely be taking my money in the near future. Very excitingly, Haymarket Books have reissued Black Women Writers at Work edited by Claudia Tate. I’ve wanted this book for some time so I’m really pleased that it is, once again, more widely available. Also, it retails for around twenty pounds in the UK, however, Haymarket Books currently have 40% off several titles so even more reason to buy directly from the publisher. Not that I’m trying to tell you to buy it but, you know, just in case…
If you feel like sharing the book at the top of your wish list, please do. We’re all enablers here!
Have a good week and do keep well
Speak soon,
Tasnim
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