Chapter Ten: Let Me Tell You What I Know.
Hello again and Ramadan Mubarak! It’s astounding that over a week has passed so quickly but isn’t that always the way? I’m still adjusting my routine in an effort to make the most of the month and, whilst I’m not all the way there yet, I do appreciate the way Ramadan turns any existing routine on its head and always seems to arrive just when I need it most.
Last Ramadan- the first without my mum- proved just how hard a time it can be to navigate when you’re grieving and still reeling from a loss, and this year, as I approached the first Ramadan without my brother (in law), I was feeling a familiar sense of dread, just bubbling away beneath the surface. Ramadan really has a way of making absences felt in a way that’s quite inescapable and, a week in, it’s clear that this year is no exception. However, what I also know is that this precious month contains within it so much light, so many blessings and numerous opportunities for much-needed re-evaluation and transformation. There is hardship, yes, but there is also ease and what better time than this to bear witness to it.
A post I read earlier this week reminded me of these words by poet, Rainer Maria Rilke (to Lou Andreas-Salome):
“…I don’t invent you
at sadly cooled-off places from which
you’ve gone away; even your not being there
is warm with you and more real and more
than a privation. Longing leads out too often
into vagueness. Why should I cast myself, when,
for all I know, your influence falls on me,
gently, like moonlight on a window seat.”
Whether this is your first Ramadan without a loved one, or it’s one of many you’ve experienced, I pray those empty spaces, where you know they would be, remain warm with them, that the longing only serves to drive you, faster, towards good and that their influence continues to be felt in the moments you need them most.
Reading Updates
I’m going to keep updates brief this week because I have quite a bit to say about all things secondhand books, but I did say I’d come back to you with my thoughts on If I Survive You by Jonathan Escoffery … I think the fact that it had pretty much gone straight to the back of my mind until a look at my Storygraph profile jogged my memory speaks volumes. Ultimately, it’s a book that was good overall. Good enough that I don’t question the taste of those who have spoken highly of it because I think I can see how it would appeal, however, to me, it just wasn’t particularly memorable. The opening story felt self-involved, as stories which are hyper-focused on identity sometimes do and, whilst it was most definitely (and thankfully) an uphill trajectory from there, it didn’t leave me with much to consider. I think my overall feelings are that it’s a well-written, entertaining collection but it lacked weight and the themes just didn’t move me. They might move you.
Now, a book I loved was Creatures of Passage by Morowa Yejidè. Sometimes I’ll find myself reading books that are so unaffecting I start wondering where my emotions have gone, but then a book comes along and reminds me that I am not the problem and my emotions can, in fact, still be evoked. Creatures of Passage is the perfect example of this.
Nephthys Kinwell is a taxi driver of sorts. In her vehicle, which happens to be haunted by the ghost of a murdered young woman, she instinctively responds to the calls of those in need of her services, ferrying passengers wherever they are called to go. She is also grieving the loss of her twin brother, Osiris after he was murdered and his body dumped in the river, and she has turned to alcohol as a way to numb her feelings. Having gone into the book blind, I was totally unprepared for the turn the story then takes but it is dark… This is a story about violence and how violence can beget violence; it’s about poverty and those society all too easily neglects; it’s about death and dying, grief and ghosts and the many ways we are haunted. I love it when a story forces you to suspend reality while, simultaneously, immersing you in it and this book does exactly that. It is also quite beautifully and captivatingly written.
Now, let’s talk secondhand books: where to find them, when to buy them, and when to leave them alone!
I love secondhand book shopping for many reasons: it’s a cheaper way to support my book-buying habit, a great way to source hard to find titles, an enjoyable way to pass the time, and a safer way to try books you’re less sure about without paying full price for them and later regretting it.
Now, I’m fairly certain that the only reason I find such good titles is because I actually go looking for them and not because I’ve got the gift of sight, however, let me tell you what I do anyway.
Offline
OK so this requires you to walk the streets and browse the shelves but that’s all part of the fun. Some might even consider it therapeutic…
The humble high street charity shop. I’m talking Shelter, Cancer Research, British Heart Foundation, those location-specific hospices and animal shelters and the like. These places can either be full of tat or absolute goldmines but the only way to find out is to look. If you do this often enough in your area, you’ll very quickly learn which ones are worth browsing more regularly and which ones will just forever stock discarded copies of that book that was terrible but extremely popular that one time.
Secondhand bookshops. An obvious choice. I’m talking about those cramped, musty-smelling shops with books stacked floor to ceiling, housing a vast array of titles including some real gems, often in no particular order, and a system of organisation known only to the owner, who you’ll find tucked away somewhere behind one of the many columns minding their own business and probably reading a book of their own. These are fun to explore and sometimes you get really lucky.
Oxfam Books, Amnesty International Books, British Heart Foundation Books & Music. If you have any of these in your city, you’re probably already frequenting them but worth checking if you have one nearby if you aren’t sure.
Also, if you’re ever travelling and you have the time, see what other towns/cities are offering. I have favourite must-visit shops in various UK cities: Amnesty International Bookshops in Norwich, Cambridge and Brighton, Oxfam Books in Chorlton is so good, BHF Books & Music in Streatham and many others, and it’s always fun to visit new places and add to the list. Wherever you happen to go, don’t forget to check the shelves higher up and lower down- it’s hard on the neck and the knees but the extra effort often pays off.
Online
My approach to in-person browsing is very much low expectations and pleasant surprises, however, I go online when I’m looking for specific titles and I typically stick to the same sites because, sooner or later, they deliver. I can be quite particular so I don’t even look at books that aren’t in ‘new’, ‘like new’, or ‘very good’ condition. If you don’t care, you’re better than me but this approach pretty much guarantees that the book will be in a good state when it arrives.
WOB (previously known as ‘World of Books’). When I tell you this site regularly takes my money, I mean it. You can get free delivery in the UK, they ship internationally and they offer a wide range of titles. Prices fluctuate, too, so if you find a book but don’t like the price, check again another day. What I will say, though, is that if you’re looking for a specific edition of a book, WOB might not be your best bet. The image you see on the site might not be what you receive and I’m fairly sure this is stated somewhere you can’t really complain about it. With that said, they do have great customer service which is always a plus.
Abe Books. I will point out that they’re now owned by Amazon for anyone who’d rather not send their coins in that direction but their notification system is effective and well worth using if you’re on the hunt for a specific title. Also, as with Amazon itself, you can always look to see if the individual sellers have their own sites and buy from them directly.
eBay. An obvious choice for all things secondhand, and books are no exception. Again, they have a useful notification system, and many sellers offer prompt (often free) UK delivery. Also, some people either don’t know what they’re selling, or they recognise that secondhand books should only cost so much, because you can find some great titles for not very much money.
Bookfinder.com if you are looking for a title and you want someone else to scour the Internet for you, this site is your best friend. If the title is online anywhere, whether brand new or secondhand, the site will find it.
The only other thing I’ll add is that if you aren’t going to read it, leave it! Bargains can be so hard to resist but it’s far better to walk away than to find yourself staring at your packed shelves in the cold light of day wondering what on Earth made you think you were ever going to read those books in the first place… Otherwise the fun really is in the hunt and, essentially, you just have to keep your eyes peeled. If you have any tips of your own, do leave a comment because I’d love to hear them!
Books on My Radar
I have a stack of brilliant-sounding April releases to get to, all written by authors whose work I’ve liked/ loved previously, including Shy by Max Porter, Dust Child by Nguyễn Phan Quế Mai and A House for Alice by Diana Evans so I’ll be trying to read those soon(ish).
Last week I also, very excitingly, received a copy of Gayl Jones’ latest release, which sounds very, very me. I’ve read a couple of Jones’ novels and some of her poetry but ‘Butter: Novellas, Stories and Fragments’ will be my introduction to her short fiction and I’m excited to see what she does with it. Gayl Jones is one of those writers who really challenges the reader - she’s unpredictable, demanding and so gritty are her portrayals of the lives of Black women and men that sometimes I don’t even know what to make of what I’ve read and that’s quite satisfying in its own way.
When she first entered the scene, Jones was lauded by many literary heavyweights, including Toni Morrison, whose response upon reading the manuscript of Jones’ first novel, Corredigora (1975), was that “no novel about any Black woman could ever be the same after this.” Between 1975-1998, Jones published several novels, short stories and collections of poetry before retiring from the public eye. In 2020 she suddenly reappeared with Palmares, her first novel in twenty-one years and Virago has been churning out some rather stunning editions of her work since. If you haven’t read any of her writing, I’d definitely say it’s worth exploring.
One Last Recommendation
I can’t believe I haven’t yet shared The Diverse Bookshelf Podcast in these letters. Hosted by Samia Aziz, the episodes take the format of conversations with various authors, taking a deep dive into their work, their inspirations, their influences and reflections. Samia asks insightful and considered questions and is such an attentive listener that she’s able to draw out these wonderfully real responses. She doesn’t interview in an overly structured sense as much as she truly converses, and the result is a really balanced, often quite moving interaction. The episode with Suhaiymah Manzoor Khan 'on Uprooting Islamophobia' was so rich I’ve listened to it at least twice and I’m currently listening to the latest episode with Dr Sofia Rehman, author of ‘A Treasury of ‘A’ishah: A Guidance from the Beloved of the Beloved’, which happens to be my current read, and the conversation is only enhancing my reading experience.
Somehow these letters always end up being longer than I intended but I’m hoping that if you’ve made it this far, you’re OK with that.
Keep well,
Tasnim