Chapter Two: The One Where I Quit My Job.

Plus, some much loved poetry recommendations, more AKO Caine Prize chat and a little music for any RnB loving ears...

Hello again and happy Monday, or whichever day of the week it is when you’re reading this. I hope your week is off to a good start and you’ve been keeping well since we last spoke. If you haven’t been, I do hope things start to look up for you soon. These aren’t the easiest of times and while I do believe we should try our hardest not to turn a blind eye to the absolute chaos, it’s also important to recognise that it is only human to feel overwhelmed by it all.

With that said, if this year has taught me anything it’s that joy exists regardless, we just have to find a way to give into it. Earlier this week, a poem by Mary Oliver was doing the rounds on Instagram and it just so happens to be one of my favourites, one I look towards whenever I need a reminder that life might be hard but it is rarely only that. In typical Mary Oliver fashion, her words are that tap on the shoulder, the tug on your sleeve inviting you to seek joy and revel in it when you do. After all, ‘joy is not made to be a crumb’.

So yes, earlier this year I quit my job and the reason I quit is actually very simple: when I returned to work after my mum died it quite quickly became apparent that, for a number of reasons, it was not a place that would realistically afford me the space and the relief I knew I needed and I realised that it was up to me to decide what to do with that information. The other thing is that the loss of my mother and the grief that has accompanied this, is, quite possibly, the most exhausting thing I have ever experienced and, especially in those very early days, I knew I had to be very intentional about where I channelled whatever energy I was able to muster. Even as that grief slowly turns into what feels more like a perpetually interfering but slightly quieter and increasingly familiar presence (as opposed to the wildly erratic intruder of earlier days), I hope I never lose this intentionality because I think it has served me well.

“Whoever you were, there was a chance that you would end up wanting to run away from a job you had once believed in, that you would stray from the path you were on…”

-Kikuko Tsumura- There’s No Such Thing As An Easy Job

The main reason I wanted to share all of this, however, is not because I think the internet needs an update but because, in quitting my job and straying from the path I was on, I’ve learned some things, the most important of which being that quitting for reasons that feel right to you is actually so wonderfully satisfying, and that as proud of myself as I am for all those times I haven’t walked way when things got difficult, I’m just as proud that I was able to recognise when a situation no longer served me and respond accordingly. As important as it is that we don’t retreat at the first sign of difficulty, I think it’s equally important, if not more so, that we learn how to leave, even if it’s just so that we know that we can.

Now, I had assumed that when I chose to share this I’d still be chilling in my jobless no man’s land, however, things change, often quite suddenly and it looks like I might be returning to the world of employment in the near future. I feel as close to optimistic about this specific job prospect as I’m ever likely to feel about any job so please pray, cross your fingers, send all the positive vibes that it stays that way!

Onto the Books

(This post uses Blackwell’s affiliate links. If you choose to purchase any books through them, I do receive a small commission but they’re mainly just there to give you quick access to book info!)

Seeing as I’ve already mentioned poetry, I thought I’d stick with that theme this week and share some collections I love and frequently find myself leaning towards. I feel like people either love poetry or do their best to avoid it but I wanted to share some recommendations that I think are beautifully approachable and stunningly rendered.

First, a couple of individual collections:

Locating Strongwoman by Tolu Agbelusi. With this one, I feel like the poems just come for your heart. It also feels like a love letter to those women who see us through, including ourselves, and I think that’s particularly precious.

Back to Mary Oliver. She has so many collections it can be hard to know where to begin but I usually say Devotions if you want a broader range and Felicity if you’d like a slimmer, more portable introduction. Felicity is a collection that just feels happy and romantic to me in all the best ways, as though the poems were written by someone so enamoured by, and accepting of people, creation, and the world in which she was residing.

Lastly, I think poetry anthologies can be a little hit and miss but I’m quite the fan of the Staying Alive series, edited by Neil Astley. Staying Alive: Real Poems for Unreal Times, and Staying Human: New Poems for Staying Alive, in particular. Both have a real variety and have introduced me to poems and poets who have gone on to become firm favourites.

Dates For Your Diary

Remember how I mentioned the AKO Caine Prize for African Writing in my last letter? Well, they’ve recently published a list of events that’ll be taking place in the week leading up to the award ceremony and I wanted to share just in case you’ve missed it.

If you’re in London or Norwich, do consider attending if you’re able to because I think we should all do what we can to show up if we want to see more from outside the box and less from what is residing quite comfortably within it. Also, the Norwich event is being led by Ayobami Adebayo, author of Stay With Me, which is one of my favourite books so that’s even more reason to attend if you can. If you aren’t in either of these cities (like the majority of you, I’m sure) there are also virtual events and, again, I think we should all do what we can to show up for those too so that online events continue and the literary events world doesn’t return to its inaccessible ways.

Speaking of online events, here’s another one I wanted to mention:

Meet the World: Violent Phenomena is an event in celebration of the forthcoming Tilted Press anthology, Violent Phenomena: 21 Essays on Translation. Contributors, Sofia Rehman, Elisa Taber, Sandra Tamele and Nariman Youssef will be in discussion with one of the editors of the anthology, Kavita Bhanot and not only does the event itself sound great, the fact that is is online and free (do book in advance, though) should hopefully make it accessible to anyone who might want to attend. I’ve also really liked/loved every Tilted Axis Press title I’ve read so I’m hopeful about this one too.

Some Music for Your Ears

Taking a completely non book-related detour now because, why not? When it comes to music, I listen to all sorts but I’ll be the first to admit that I have two frequent settings: 90s/00s RnB or something suitably mellow that I can listen to (on repeat) when I want to get all up in my feelings.

So, on the subject of RnB, did you catch Usher’s Tiny Desk? I found some aspects quite comedic, I won’t lie (look at that cheesy grin), and I’m loving the memes that were always going to follow but, with that said, I did enjoy the little trip down memory lane. There are some artists whose music will always take me back and Usher is definitely one of them; I knew all the lyrics then, I still know them now and if you don’t know what he was doing seven o’clock (on the dot) we are clearly either of different generations or we were listening to very different music in our younger years!

On that note, I think that’s all there is for this week! Speak soon and, in the meantime, I really do hope joy finds you when you need it most.