If I Must Die by Refaat Alareer

"...If I must die, let it bring hope. Let it be a tale."

Dec 05, 2024

#ReadPalestineWeek. Seven days of Palestinian poetry: day seven.

Dr Refaat Alareer (1979-2023) was a renowned poet, writer and professor of literature and creative writing at the Islamic University of Gaza, who was killed by an Israeli airstrike in Gaza City on the 6th December 2023, alongside his brother, sister, and four of his siblings’ children.

Prior to his death, Refaat Alareer was already known for his teaching, his writing, and his activism. He first published his poem, If I Must Die, online in 2011 and republished it in November 2023. Since his death it has been shared extensively, and translated into dozens of languages.

Dr Refaat was the editor of two collections of his students’ writing, Gaza Writes Back and Gaza Unsilenced (Just World Books), and a collection of his writings, ‘If I Must Die: Poetry and Prose’, was published posthumously by OR Books earlier this year. His poem, If I Must Die was also recently published alongside another piece of his writing, Death is not the Worst Case Scenario, in the anthology Daybreak in Gaza: Stories of Palestinian Lives and Culture (Saqi Books, 2024).

Refaat Alareer wrote this poem to his daughter, Shymaa, who was killed along with her husband and their newborn son- Refaat’s first grandchild- just months after her father’s death.

“Now when I tell my daughter stories, I usually have in mind the generous Jewish hosts in Atlanta, whose five-year-old sweet daughter, Viola, kept asking me about optical illusions. I never gave Viola an answer to her question, because every time she asked it, my mind went to Shymaa, wishing she and the hundreds of thousands of Palestinian children had not been deprived by Israel of their right to live a decent life. Sometimes I think we may one day find it in our hearts to forgive Israeli leaders (when, among other things, occupation ends, apartheid is abolished, justice prevails, equal rights are guaranteed to all, refugees return, and reparations are made), but I do not think we will ever forgive them for not allowing our children to live a normal life, to ask about optical illusions rather than who was killed and why and whether that noise was an Israeli bomb or a resistance rocket. I want my children to plan, rather than worry about, their future and to draw beaches or fields of blue skies and a sun in the corner, not warships, pillars of smoke, warplanes, and guns. Hopefully the stories of Gaza Writes Back will help bring my daughter Shymaa and Viola together and give them consolation and solace to continue the struggle until Palestine is free. Until then, I will continue telling her stories.” ~ Dr Refaat Alareer

Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published

If I Must Die

If I must die,
you must live
to tell my story
to sell my things
to buy a piece of cloth
and some strings,
(make it white with a long tail)
So that a child, somewhere in Gaza
while looking heaven in the eye,
awaiting his dad who left in a blaze–
and bid no one farewell
not even to his flesh
not even to himself–
sees the kite, my kite you made, flying up above
and thinks for a moment an angel is there
bringing back love.
If I must die
let it bring hope.
let it be a tale.

Like Hiba Abu Nada, whose poem I shared at the start of the week, and so many other Palestinian writers, poets, educators and people, Refaat’s voice is now lost to us and it is only right that we do our part to preserve the words they shared.

May the people of Palestine know freedom soon.

In case you missed. them, here’s a roundup of this week’s poems: